Funny SMS (a bit 18+)

mevan loshitha

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  • May 5, 2009
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    A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt! A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts.who opens her heart recives love.who opens her legs recieves happines

    There are SIX best men in a woman's life: A Doctor who says, "Take your clothes off" A Dentist who says, "Open wide" A Hairdresser who says, "Do you want it teased or blown?" A Milkman who says, "Do you want it in the front or back?" An Interior Designer who says, "Once its in, you'll love it!" A Banker who says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
     

    mevan loshitha

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  • May 5, 2009
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    machala this is nt sms... kellan ge bra sin ekak... hehehe....

    Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it's about time you became informed!

    {A} - Almost Boobs...
    {B} - Barely there.
    {C} - Can't Complain!
    {D} - Damn!
    {DD} - Double damn!
    {E} - Enormous!
    {F} - Fake.
     

    mevan loshitha

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  • May 5, 2009
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    An elephant asked a camel - y do u hav boobs on ur back??..?

    the camel replied - dude thats fuckin gud question for a guy who has a penis on his face....

     

    mevan loshitha

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  • May 5, 2009
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    A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

    the priest lost his cock(murga)
    he asked in church does anyone has a cock?????
    ALL THE MEN STOOD UP
    he asked does anyone has seen a cock??
    ALL WOMEN STOOD UP
    he asked has anyone seen my cock??????
    NUNS STOOD UP..


     

    mevan loshitha

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  • May 5, 2009
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    This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".
     

    mevan loshitha

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  • May 5, 2009
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    There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.